I wonder sometimes, it is not necessarily the world that changes around us but us ourselves that change, sometimes irrevocably yet subtly so – that we do not realise it until we feel so alienated or isolated, cut off from ourselves and that which once was so familiar with us.
The world may suddenly be revealed to us as if to have become a strange place filled with people we do not know, places now so estranged from us and a way of living that threatens to swamp us, overwhelm us and lead us down a route that seems irreversible, perhaps confusing and filled with stresses and anxiety.
But is it really the world that changes around us to such an extreme or is it perhaps us that are changing? Even growing?
Events, circumstances and people that come and go in our lives all affect us in quite profound and deep ways, their influence holding sway long after they may have disappeared from our lives. Their impact has had its opportunity and come to bear upon our countenance, so much so in some instances that, whether we realise it or not, we are changing, growing, formulating new ideas, new hopes, or even harboring new hurts if an experience took its toll upon our emotions.
Change is inevitable. It is necessary and yet a challenge for all of us, individually and collectively, to adapt to and to process. I often feel that I have had far more than my fair share of change and yet equally at times, this world, even the county I live in and have known for many years, feels so alien to me. A cold, stark place seemingly empty of love and warmth and continuity. It threatens to overwhelm me, and, if I allow it, to consume me in the shadow of anxiety or depression.
I ask myself, is it the world, the culture, the people and the places that have changed so much around me that I have been left behind or is it perhaps me that has changed so much beyond all that may once have been familiar, safe and comforting?
But that is the challenge in itself. To rediscover and redefine oneself. Identify what our own limiting or self sabotaging patterns may be and which are those imposed upon us by external individuals, collectives and ideals; moral expectation, obligation and survival mechanisms.
The challenge is also in cultivating the ability to see the positives in seemingly difficult, perhaps at times even hopeless situations. Nothing in this world will ever be perfect. It was made in some ways to be flawed so that we may acknowledge that perfection is a dream but that imperfection teaches us to accept what is and and to strive to move beyond that which is limiting or not fulfilling. To make necessary changes rather than to wait for them to come to us.
Of myself, yes, when things happen around me that cause me grief, intense sadness or which cascade over me like waves of such intensity from the relentless ocean of life, in the face of change indeed I crumble for a time (quite spectacularly so!) but I am not without a tenacity and an ability to get myself back up and to keep trying with life. I have to hold to belief. To a point, belief seems all there really is. Never a truer reality indeed, that of belief; belief in something (or nothing).
I have such fervent conviction in the essential goodness and wonder of this realm. Not all things are bad, though at times they may seem so. Everything and everyone has a part to play, a role – to be our greatest teachers no matter how difficult the scenario or circumstances. It is our job to see the opportunities, to rise up, reach out with both hands and grasp to the light afforded by the road that leads to transcendent states of being.
Although at times this is easy to write of such undertaking, it can be most difficult to put into practice. Very difficult in fact, I must confess!
Turn your thoughts to your original intention for this life; seek to surround yourself with warmth and joy, for it is in that which all of us may find our salvation, our homecoming and our rediscovery of who and all that we are; not in material goods, external circumstances etc but in the unconditional potentialities and possibilities that open up to us . We may then begin to rediscover our place in this world and draw unto us those which resonate at a frequency that matches our own or which is higher – thus lifting us up to so much more.
It is in such actions that we will create the life we so richly deserve.
It is not so much that we let life limit us but that at times when we cannot see clearly the road ahead, we allow ourselves to be limited.
I most certainly have a tendency to do this. I often compare myself to the element of water. I am water in my nature; I ebb and flow. I can be calm and consistent then turbulent and chaotic! It is about seeking to find balance, a sustainable rhythm. Recognising our flaws and our gifts. Recognising what is within our control and what may be beyond our ability to influence thus leading to acceptance and a more fluid approach. Accepting, perhaps even embracing change.
Life is such a precious thing indeed yet we spend so much of it mired in pain, uncertainty or hopeless tracks that disappear into the highways and byways. Even more so that oft times when things of such opportunity; love, happiness or potential are placed in our path we may overlook them or let them slip past us perhaps because we do not feel worthy of such positive things or because we have become so blinded by the false reality of the personality self that we forget to allow the light of the heart and the will of the soul to guide us.
Sometimes we may overlook them because we fear the process of change that they bring along with them. What could have unfolded to become something beautiful was cast aside or shunned because in the beginning it may have shaken our world and pushed us out of our safe little garden that we have cultivated around us. No thank you indeed! Surely it is easier to remain where the flowers are already growing rather than to walk out through the garden gate and into the wide blue yonder?
Such thoughts and actions reflect ones own individual patterns that need to be addressed and worked with. Of myself, I have often overlooked opportunities because I do not feel worthy, thus I need to cultivate higher levels of self esteem! I can also be given to a tendency to become what I think people want, rather than to be simply who I am for fear of rejection and loneliness. Hence, I often end up feeling trapped or unaccepted because I am not integrating my own healthy levels of acceptance in the company afforded externally. Consequently, when my inner light radiates out into this world it is shattered because that is not what is wanted or expected by those around me on the basis of the external person I painted of myself in order to achieve a (false) level of acceptance. But the mechanism of change is such that it will keep putting me into situations where I have to recognise these traits and patterns and make a choice. Choose to keep on as I am (even though it clearly isn’t working for me yet it is safe in its familiarity) or choose to accept the opportunity, make a change in myself and ride the waves to new horizons. .
Recognising a need for change, acknowledging what makes us feel good and what drains or compromises our state of being is the first step to setting clear goals and expectations for what we do want and what we wish to release.
Flowing with the rivers rather than battling against the currents in the end is the only way to travel.
Change will happen, whether we want it to or not.
We are surrounded by change every day. The passing of the seasons, night into day, our children as the years pass and they grow both in body and mind, relationships, people coming and going in our lives. It is all part of being human. To fight change is to set ourselves up to fail. To embrace it and to take charge is to make the most of what comes our way and makes the inevitable part of being human a much smoother journey.
Thus, in the end we may recognise that it is not always the world around us that is changing. Rather it is us as we grow and reach new shores or as we allow ourselves to remain static and fixed in a world that is built upon a template of metamorphosis.