Life is never going to be handed to the majority of us on a plate. For most of us we have to work hard to have what we have. This can often lead to feelings arising of envy and jealousy when our peers may appear to have it easy in comparison.
But does life really need to be so hard? There will always be obligations that we must fulfil in order to remain functioning members of a given community but, equally, why is it that so many of us struggle, openly or otherwise, with feelings of anxiety, overwhelming sadness, loss, anger, resentment or a perceived tediousness of our day to day affairs?
Does it really need to be like this? And if not, how can we change it?
I will confess to you here that I struggle every day with anxiety. With feelings of inadequacy and a sense of failure that, now in my mid-thirties I haven’t achieved more. But why and what is this elusive more? Does this apparent lack make me less of a human being? Are my experiences and achievements so far to count for nothing? All the times I have been of service, tried to help, worked hard, studied hard and paid my way through life; are they really all for nothing simply because I judge myself on the basis of what my peers may have achieved or what the media suggests and society believes a person of my age should have around them?
And then, oh for the almost insatiable desire to seek validation that we are worthy, meaningful individuals with enviable lives full of glamour, adventure and health (or so our entangled relationship with social media would have us believe).
When did we lose sight of what it is to be human? When did we lose sight of what really matters and when did we give up on our dreams and succumb to the “daily grind”? Forgetting who we truly are and instead living with an intense longing for something more but having no idea about what that something may be or how to find it and embrace it?
The increased levels of anxiety issues prevalent today go hand in hand with our fears of inadequacy and failure.
Well, I write this for you now in the hope that it may strike a chord when I say to you that there is no such thing as failure. Only choices to be made in a given moment on the basis of our previous experiences, how well connected we are to our inner hearts desire and the opportunities presented to us in a given moment.
I have been my harshest critic and I have given away my passion for life in order to allow myself to be cast into a mould. The cast almost set upon me but now I endeavour to break free. And I urge you to do the same.
Be honest; with yourself, your hopes and dreams, the life you have presently made for yourself. If, upon reflection, you are content with the direction you are moving in then I commend you highly for always staying true to your self and not losing sight of your aspirations. But, for those of you like me who live a daily struggle with anxiety, who feel their heart crying out that something isn’t right and whose thoughts may not serve you to lead a positive, flowing experience with life then NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE ACTION.
Not for nothing are you feeling what you feel. Step back and breath, deeply.
Listen to the thoughts as they arise and hear the inner dialogue.
You are a being of incredible beauty, worth, integrity and potential and your light needs to be given space to expand.
If your inner dialogue is less than kind reflect that most of us wouldn’t tolerate such bullying for ourselves or our children ordinarily so do not accept it from yourself.
Recognise it and begin the process of releasing it. Replace tired, worn out dialogue of a low frequency with positive, uplifting statements about yourself. Yes, you will feel uncomfortable, awkward even in the beginning. Telling myself everyday that I looked lovely left me feeling foolish! An absurdity in itself; body image is such a fragile thing but why should we feel guilty for feeling good about ourselves?
We are amazing, intricate, awesome examples of creation – the very fact that we exist is enough to celebrate in itself. So, the more I told myself I looked lovely, overtime the negative image of myself began to fade and whilst I still have issues about my physical appearance – stretch marks, an absurdly ample bust, curves where I would prefer muscle e.t.c. my inner dialogue is much kinder, I sit more in the presence of ease with myself and this has begun to be reflected in my relationships with the world around me – less judgemental of others, vastly more accepting and less critical of life in general.
Miracles do not necessarily happen over night. They permeate our existence in subtle, delicate ways. When we decide to take action and embrace a positive experience rather than beating ourselves up, overtime the changes, both within ourselves and in our life circumstances, become inextricably linked to how our altered approach to ourselves has taken place.
MAKE GRATITUDE YOUR ATTITUDE.
This has been a game changer for me. Even the smallest of things I am grateful for. Even my day to day job – as uninspiring as it may be. By looking for the positive elements within it, what once was a dull, challenging affair becomes tolerable, even enjoyable on occasion. It allows me to be at home for my child during school holidays. It enables me to contribute to the comfort and well being of my family. It gives me a sense of independence and freedom knowing that I am earning and saving. Yes it’s a far cry from my career as a conservationist before the birth of my son but had I of returned to that industry after his arrival I would never have had the time with him that I am blessed to have now and I would have been financially worse off paying someone else to raise him.
Language is a powerful affair and so are our beliefs. If you are unhappy in anyway with your current circumstances, or you battle every day with anxiety or an inner dialogue that is unforgiving of yourself I encourage you to begin the practice of affirmation and gratitude.
Write down three things about yourself or your life that you may currently be unhappy with. Then reword the sentence or phrase into a positive one.
For example, for myself I criticize my stretch marks and “mummy tummy”, I dislike my unfulfilling job that makes no use of my degree level education and I intensely dislike that I don’t commit to things. When I change these negatives into positive statements or affirmations they become
- I love my stretch marks for they remind me of my son and my powerful nature to birth life into this world.
- I am grateful for my job as it brings independence and enables me to raise my own son.
- I am fully committed to myself and the many wonderful opportunities as they arise and unfold in my life.
This practice may seem small, insignificant or even somewhat pointless but, consider this; does your present way of thinking bring you true joy and happiness? Does it help you to make the most of every opportunity? If you can answer yes then that is wonderful and keep on shining your light. If however you find yourself hesitating or your life is not how you would like it to be then what harm is there in starting a new journey to a more fulfilling point of view?
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW