Living in the dark is how I all too often feel. I grope my way through life without any meaningful direction. In the scheme of things I may be considered off the grid when it comes to success.
Sure, I have lots of achievements in one way or another but I do not flaunt fancy possessions, the latest gadgets or a lifestyle enviable to others. This does not really bother me for I perceive that there are greater, more important tasks that require my attention.
It is however this last reflection that holds my attention. That there are greater tasks before me that I intended to experience in this lifetime.
When I sit for a moment and consider the direction of my life – both up to this point and in the future, can I say that I feel I am living with purpose, living a fulfilling experience that is nourishing both physically, emotionally and spiritually?
I am conscious of a strong desire to be doing something, but what that something is I am yet to discover. I feel like I have drifted off course, far from the original plan that my self designated for this lifetime before I came here in physical form.
Whether my soul had a plan or not is negligible for what really matters is the ability to recognise when one feels as though they are not living their life to their highest and best potential.
I recognise this fact by the frustration that I often feel. A stagnation. A state of being whereby I feel as though I am only existing rather than living.
It is like a nagging sensation, sometimes in my heart and sometimes in my stomach – I am not digesting the experiences given to me, assessing whether they are in line with my life’s purpose and so my heart is, deep down, saddened and locked into a state of yearning to be set free to live in accordance with what makes it sing.
So how can we realign ourselves when we feel we have drifted off course? How do we find our way in a world that is designed to keep us locked in this state of yearning, merely turning the wheels of industry and business to the detriment of our own souls cries for release and joy?
We are multi-faceted beings with many different faces. We have many different interests, roles, obligations, commitments and hobbies. On the surface these may seem unconnected to one another. It may be like peering into murky water in the hopes of seeing through the weeds and rubbish to the underlying bedrock that gives structure and form to the pond or lake. It may be deep, beyond our vision up here upon the surface, but it is there none the less.
There is a thread between all of these different roles we play out, linking them together. We may not always see it but the thread is there, woven within all things that we are and do.
Writing down the many aspects of oneself is a good place to start. Writing down all that holds our attention, what captivates us, what we yearn for. Noting when we feel really happy – what were we doing? Also recognising the many roles we play out; is there a thread that binds them all and are they roles that, when we break them down, share a similar vein to one another. For instance, our work may not be our passion but what is it that we do? Do we work in the public sector, with people, with technology, advising, caring, selling, creating? Where else can we see these similarities, in their most basic component. What parts of our work, no matter how unbearable it may be, do we find less intolerable, perhaps even remotely enjoyable?
Thinking about the last time we did something we felt passionate about or inspired by can give us some clues as to what our purpose may be. We will always have responsibilities and obligations, things we must do, for that is a necessary part of choosing a physical existence. But we did not come here solely to work, to feel unhappy, to feed the system and fit into a mould. We are all unique beings that cannot be placed into a category or moulded into the perfect work force that does as it’s told, easily manipulated and controlled.
Each of us has our own unique set of talents and skills to share and to utilise in order to lift humanity out of the darkness of which we are presently living in.
It may be that what we yearn to be or to do is difficult to create or incorporate into our lives at this time but nothing is impossible. If you have a strong desire to do or to be something or to have a particular experience then seek for ways to make it happen. Start small. Research. Read. Connect with others doing similar to what you wish to create. Put your name forward to volunteer in the area you want to become involved with.
One of the biggest limiting factors to our getting started with our dreams, besides our own inner dialogue hindering us, is our finances. What has often stopped me from striving to achieve my hearts longing, besides the excuses I put in the way is my convincing myself that I cannot afford it; how I need this or that but I don’t have the money to do this/ get that/ get started etc.
These are in reality just excuses. Money is a major factor of course but if we want something, if we really want it, if our focus turns to manifesting our hopes, our dreams then anything is possible. It just may take a little longer than we would otherwise like.
There’s no time like the here and now. What makes me truly happy is writing, being out in nature and being active. I LOVE writing and it is something that I want to invest my time in, something that I want to utilise in order to reach out to others. When I write it is as though I have come home to myself. On a daily basis I am stuck in an unfulfilling job that I do out of necessity. It gives little reward, I feel trapped indoors. But there are many positive elements (when I look hard!) – the main one being that it helps pay the bills! But it is not my passion. Writing is my passion. So for me, one way to start living my passion was to look into creating an online place with which to share what I create with words. And here it is, and it costs me virtually nothing.
I feel happier when I am writing and sharing my thoughts on life. I am still in my unfulfilling job but I am happier as I know I am turning my focus away from what I don’t enjoy in my life, and instead realigning my focus upon what I DO enjoy and what I want MORE of in my life. (This is REALLY IMPORTANT when it comes to manifesting and attracting to us what we do want).
Think about what you DO want, not what you don’t want in your life. Some books and inspiring people who help me to remember my way in life include Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks, the material of Dr Wayne Dyer and Alyse Brautigam at Raw Alignment.
Be who you WANT to be, not who you think you SHOULD be. Do a little more of what makes you happy as often as you are able to, if not every day then as often as is presently feasible – having things to look forward to is a big step in creating more of what we do want in our lives. And most importantly, remember to be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and start valuing yourself and what you have to offer this world.